Time Statue

Life, Stories No Comments

He had traveled across ten galaxies and had finally came to the end of his quest. He found it. He had finally found it.

The Time Statue.

He approached the two story, stone oracle, located on a remote, but seemingly habitable world. The planet was strangely devoid of life, although he was unphased by this.

The traveler opened his mouth to speak, but the Time Statue’s eyes opened and stared down at the traveler. The Time Statue’s mouth began to move. A booming voice cut through the thin air.

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Zero to Half-Marathon in Under Two Months

Life 3 Comments

I don’t consider myself to be an athlete. I’m not an athletic person. I’m not in great shape, even now. I play a lot of video games. I’m 30 years old. I sit at a desk all day.

So how is it that I can run 13.1 miles is under two hours? How is it I can run a half marathon and post a decent time, when less than two months ago I nearly passed out after running a single mile?

I did almost no research before deciding to run. I’ve never read a book about running (until over a month after starting anyway). I just decided to go for broke, and learn as I went along.

I get a lot of questions on how this is possible at all. I’ve been called “weird” for attempting long distances without “proper training.” So I figure it’s time to give away all my secrets.

I’ll describe my unconventional methods. Try these at home, or not. Maybe they’ll work for you, but I’m not promising anything.

However, I think anyone has the ability to do what I did. I don’t consider myself to be special at all.

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Stories No Comments

He knew it was coming. He saw it trillions of miles away. He had seen it foretold. He knew that’s how it would be. No other option.

Millions of miles away. The future impact any moment now. All calculations were precise. All i’s dotted, all t’s crossed.

But wait, what’s this? Something else? A moment of faith. A brief fraction of a small time segment. That’s all it was. Flushed from memory- but it had happened. Gone as soon as it arrived.

Maybe he wouldn’t crash there. Maybe it wouldn’t go as planned. Maybe it would be different this time somehow.

That brief moment of faith was all he could think about as his systems took over. That one brief moment in time. Just for a moment, he saw a different future. Perhaps, just this once, events wouldn’t unfold as predicted.

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The Girl in Your Ear

Game Development, Gaming 2 Comments

Oh yeah. Tell me what to do.

I have this conversation fairly regularly. You know. The one about The Girl in Your Ear.

Come on. It happens in plenty of games. The sister of Girl Hacker, another ever-present game character stereotype. Sometimes, they are one in the same.

“Girl in Your Ear” is a character you can picture in most games. She’s as cliched as red barrels and wooden crates.

  • Cortana from Halo.
  • Guardian Angel from Borderlands.
  • Navi from Ocarina.
  • Minda from Twilight Princess.
  • Lucy from Assassins Creed.
  • Alyx Vance from Half Life 2.
  • Elena Ivanova from Vanquish.
  • Anya Stroud from Gears of War.

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Org Sharks, Clown Units and Halo Top 5

Gaming, Jokes, Stories 4 Comments

What are you lookin' at?

I don’t get to talk about work very much. Today, that all changes.

The Top 5 Brigade has been having some trouble with… leaks. After a lofty and well deserved promotion, my wise, handsome, and wonderfully smelling Section 10 officers sent me, Haxington, to root out a mole within the Top 5 unit. The Clown Unit.

So far, my attempts at information extraction have been in vain. Schismarch, whom I suspect to be the culprit has been extremely evasive to my lines of questioning. On the other hand, I think one EckoTech might simply be playing dumb. Perhaps they are in kahootz and they are both moles. The punishment I would no doubt have the pleasure of exacting on the two, if that were the case, would make my life complete. And I would probably get another promotion. Which I would deserve.

Wait. Maybe I’m the mole? No… no! I mustn’t think such foolish thoughts! Their mind games are beginning to weaken my mental fortitude!

I may need to resort to more… extreme measures in the oncoming months. I will find the mole and order within Section 10 will be restored. Come hell or high water. Now, where did I put that bottle of rubbing alcohol, the 9-iron, and “Ol’ Trusty?”

Oh. If you want to see video of my interactions with these two, check out the surveillance footage I’ve received clearance on posting below:

A Plug for an Artist

Art No Comments
Ross Inlet

Ross Inlet Wood

My father is an awesome artist. He’s up and blogging pretty regularly now, which is also awesome.


Check him out. He has works up in museums and galleries, he gets into art shows, he wins awards, he volunteers within the art community, and he gives the best birthday presents.

So there you go, bam. If you wonder where I get it from, now you know.

The Precipice Between Yin and Yang

Life No Comments

“The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.”

– Carl Sagan

“I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”

– Hunter S. Thompson

Somewhere along the Southern Oregon coast, along Highway 101 exists a distant, industrial town by the name of Coos Bay. North Bend lies right next to Coos Bay, separated only by a sign designating its population. For all intents in purposes, they are one city divided only in name and by imaginary lines drawn on a map.

If Seattle and Detroit had a child that never grew up, Coos Bay would be that offspring. The city was an old settlement town which at one point in history was important due to her naturally useful waterways. Named Marshfield at the time, the town featured one of the best natural ports between San Fransisco and the Puget Sound. A coincidental but necessary link between two distant regions of the West coast.

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Prince Ehreth and the Kingdom of Dreams #4

PEatKoD, Stories 1 Comment

The waves crashed against the bow of The Ultimate as she bobbed confidently through the Kirklondian Sea. With the wind at their backs, sails at full mast and cannons on standby, the crew of The Ultimate was poised to finally take what was theirs.

Hunting The Runner had been difficult enough. True to her name, The Runner was the fastest vessel in the entire kingdom. They had been tracking The Runner for months. Any other crew would have declared mutiny by now. In fact, other crews had declared mutiny chasing after what most considered to be fools gold: The Conch, the last link to the Merfolk who watch over the murky depths that no man dare tread.

Only the one who holds The Conch holds the power to communicate with the dwellers of the deep. Only the one who holds The Conch holds the power to command them.

Or so the legend goes.

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